Birth Order

The order in which a child is born info a family (oldest, middle, youngest, only child) can have a profound influence on ones behavior and personality throughout life. Although there are many exceptions to the rules, each birth order tends to have a specific set of characteristics that define that position in the family.  For example:  1st borns tend to be leaders. (The majority of U.S. presidents are first borns.)  People often make assumptions about an individuals personality traits based on their position in the family. (For example, the stereotype of the youngest child as spoiled. ) Many believe that birth order tends to define a large part of ones identity even as an adult.

To determine if you reflect traits characteristic of your birth order, take this simple Quiz.  You may be surprised!

Birth Order Quiz

1st Borns:

First borns tend to be very high achievers.  They are natural leaders and they are most comfortable with structure and routine.  They seek predictability and control, and tend to be perfectionist. Because of these perfectionist tendencies, they may at times be overly critical of themselves and others.  They are very responsible in all areas of their lives.  They are also generally conventional and accepting of the status quo.  While many first borns are very confidant, some may be insecure of their abilities if their parents were overly critical of their achievements as a child.

2nd Borns:

2nd borns tend to develop traits opposite that of the oldest child.  For this reason, 2nd borns may either be very outgoing, sociable and flexible or even introverted and reserved.  Peer groups are very important for the middle child, who often seeks outside sources for feelings of belongingness in a group.  They are very good negotiators and are also adept at compromising and seeing all sides of an issue.

Last borns:

Youngest children are often attention-seekers, outgoing, and always looking for a laugh.  They are good at analyzing people and situations.  They tend to be more rebellious and unconventional than their siblings. They are also usually less responsible and may not consider the consequences of their actions.  Some youngest children may also lack confidence in their abilities if they were overly pampered as a child.

Only child:

An only child is often thought of as a little adult.  The child's primary models are his parents, and an only child may feel incompetent or overly self-critical when he can't master adult tasks.  Only children are usually exceptionally reliable and extremely high achievers.

Birth Spacing

If there is a gap of 5 or more years between children, the oldest child would be considered a "functional" only child. They would likely have behaviors and personalities characteristic of an only child.

A youngest child born 5 or more years after the next oldest child would  also be considered a "functional" only child.  They would likely have behaviors and personalities characteristic of an only child.

Family Dynamics

In addition to birth order, other variables must be taken into account when determining general personality traits and behaviors resulting from growing up in a particular family unit.   Gender, temperament, genetics, socioeconomic status, whether or not the parents worked outside the home, marital status, remarriages, and death of a family member .  These are only some of the factors that can help to influence who you are as an adult.  Every life event has some effect on our adult personalities.  Birth order is thought to play a definite role in this process.

We must look at the family situation as a whole.  Two children brought up in the same family may have encountered profoundly different experiences because family dynamics are constantly changing.

Gender Dynamics

Finally, gender dynamics are important.  A third born child, but first born son or daughter, would often take on 1st born characteristics.  This is also true if the 1st born son or daughter is unable to assume the leadership role.  The next born son or daughter would then often take the role of "functional" first born.  This is known as role reversal and can also happen in a family where the competition is so great that the younger child "wins out".  It can also happen in cases where the older child has a personality trait or physical or mental handicap that prevents him or her from fulfilling the role responsibilities of a first born.

Final Thoughts

Consider your own family of origin.  Were you an oldest child, youngest, "functional" only child?  Has your role in your family had any influence on your behavior and personality as an adult?

Give us your feedback.  We'd love to hear from you.  Visit our Birth Order message board to discuss this topic with other members.