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Preschool and Your Child

Your little one has been growing up even more quickly than you could have imagined. Seemingly out of nowhere, you find yourself beginning to research the option of preschool for your child. For many children (especially those with stay at home moms or dads) this will be their first extended experience away from home. This is both an exciting and difficult time for most parents, who are anxious to provide their child with the best preschool experience available.

Finding the right preschool for your child can be an overwhelming experience for parents, especially as the choices available for your child in most geographical areas are numerous.

The positive: Most parents can choose from a variety of options and find a preschool that suits their child's needs.

The negative: Making an informed decision can present a challenge. Academic or developmental philosophy? Half-day or full day? Two days a week or 5 days a week? Private or church sponsored? The options are numerous and the choices can be confusing.

We will attempt to sort out the information you need to know so that you can feel comfortable with your decision.

Is preschool necessary for my child?

Probably one of the biggest debates surrounding the issue of preschool is whether or not a preschool experience is beneficial for the child. The short answer: It depends. Why? To determine whether or not preschool would be beneficial for your child we must first take a look at all the variables.

How the parents or child feel about preschool is very important. If you are hesitant or feeling really conflicted about sending your child.. Don't. Parents and children are more in tune to each others feelings than many people realize. A child may sense the parents hesitations and in turn respond poorly to the experience. Conversely, if you sense uncertainty or hesitation by your child (clingy and wanting to leave while visiting a preschool, extreme difficulty with separation), your child may not yet be ready for preschool. Keep in mind, however, that some shy and hesitant children can often thrive in preschool. Realize that new experiences can be difficult and try not to push your child if they are resistant.

Do children who attend preschool have an academic advantage over other children?

Most teachers and child care experts agree that a preschool experience does not give a child an academic advantage in the long run over other children. While children who have attended preschool may know numbers, colors, etc. better in kindergarten or first grade...children will even out in their intellectual knowledge whether preschool educated or not. This is assuming no number or letters introduction has been given to the non preschool educated child. If the introduction has been give, no academic differences should be evident.

Do children need preschool for social interaction with other kids?

Most experts agree that by the time a child is three years old, it is desirable to begin to socialize them with other children on a regular basis. Children learn a great deal from interacting with each other. They learn the skills of cooperation, sharing, taking turns and conflict resolution. Children of this age engage more in interactive play rather than the parallel play characteristic of younger children (where two children play side by side with little interaction). Children of this age often enjoy playing with other kids and are generally becoming more social.

Most children are ready, if desired, for a preschool experience at the age of 3. Preschool can be an excellent opportunity to socialize your child with other children and to develop social skills. This can be particularly desirable if you are not involved in a playgroup or if your child does not have an opportunity to interact with other children her own age. Children who do receive adequate social interaction will probably not need the additional socialization offered by a formal preschool.

Is my child the right age for preschool?

Although some programs accept children as young as age 2, the most common age to begin preschool in the age of 3. While some children may be ready before age 3, many are not ready for this kind of structure and would benefit more from a mom's day out program, which is more appropriate for children under the age of 3.

What is a Mom's Day out Program?

A mom's day out (or kid's day out) program allows a parent a day to run errands, go to the doctor, or buy groceries while knowing their child is in a safe and loving environment. Mom's day out programs usually accept ages 6 weeks to 3 years, although the exact age requirements will vary with each program. Mom's day out programs cater activities to the needs of your child. Crafts, stories, and free play with various toys are common. Mom's day out is usually less structured than preschool and therefore more appropriate for children under age 3. These programs are most often found in churches, although some private preschools may also offer mom's day out.

How do preschools determine what class my child will be in during the school year?

All programs require a child be of a certain age by, for example, September 1st of that year. If your child will be 3 years old by the programs cut-off date, then your child would be placed in the 3 year old classroom for that year. The class would then age together and the 3 year old class would become the 4 year old class the following year. In this way, there is more continuity with class members, and a child will not be moved to an older class just because she has a birthday.

Many programs further divide each age group by birthday if there are a number of 3, 4 and 5 year old classes. In this way the younger 3's are grouped together, older 3's and so on. The reason some schools do this is because they see major developmental differences between older and younger children of the same age. Other preschools who do not follow this sub-classification insist that an older child may not necessarily be more advanced than a younger child, and that some difference in age can actually add to the group experience. They also note that beginning in kindergarten all children the same age will be in the same classrooms, and therefore it is better to expose children to these differences at an earlier age.

Almost all schools will attempt to include equal number of boys and girls in each classroom to the extent that this is possible. A few schools may divide classrooms based on personal interviews or testing results.

If the way classrooms are divided is an important consideration in your choice of school, be sure to ask for details about their inclusion procedures. Each school has a different way of deciding how to place each child.

What can a preschool offer that a parent or an informal playgroup may not?

The concepts of following directions, actively participating as a member of a group, and listening and respecting an authority figure (teacher) other than mom or dad are all important concepts that a preschool child must learn. Developing a sense of self away from parents can also be very helpful for a young child. Many preschool advocates believe these attributes are among the most important learned during preschool.

How will a preschool effect my child's self-esteem?

A good preschool program will help to foster self-esteem in your child (feelings of positive self worth) by bringing out and developing his talents and skills. The program will also encourage his independence and decision-making skills.

Does my child have to be potty trained to attend preschool?

Some preschool programs require that your child be completely potty-trained when school begins. Accidents must be rare (no more than once in a two week period) or the child may be "expelled" from school. These programs site safety issues and lack of proper facilities for this policy. These programs often accept students for preschool at age 3. If your child is under age 3 you may want to consider a mom's day out program instead.

Other programs (often developmental) view potty training as a developmental task that your child will master when he is ready. They believe that preschool should be available to all children regardless of potty training status. The advantage of this type of program is that a parent does not have the added pressure of making sure their child is completely potty trained when school starts. Another advantage is that even if an "accident" does happen for a potty trained child, the teachers in such a school are likely to treat the child with more compassion and understanding than a school where "accidents" are rarely tolerated.

There are great preschools out there with different potty training policies. As a guideline.. if your child is not potty trained by the time of registration, consider sending your child to a school that accepts all children. This may take the pressure off both you and your child. It will allow your child to become potty trained when he is ready, rather than in response to an externally mandated deadline.

Accidents can and do happen, especially amongst young children in new environments where it may be difficult for a young child to assert himself when the need arises. Knowing your child and your own situation will help you decide what is in the best interest of your child at the present time.

Should I enroll my child in a half-day or full-day preschool program?

Most preschools offer either half-day or full day (extended day) programs. The full-day programs are geared primarily toward working parents who need a full-time day care situation. Most often, a full day program includes a preschool component in the morning, while reserving more creative "free play" for the afternoon.

Half-day programs are geared primarily for stay-at-home moms or dads who do not need a full-day arrangement. The hours of 9:00-12:00 for a morning session and the hours of 12:00-3:00 for an afternoon session is representative of these types of programs, although exact times and durations vary. These half-day programs sometimes offer a "stay and play" option. For an extra fee, your child may stay, for example, from 12:00 until 2:00. Your child is able to play freely and there is no formal instruction during this time. It is a nice option for parent's who need to attend doctor appointments or run errands later in the day. Afternoon sessions do not usually have this option. Some programs require you to commit to the "stay and play" option at the beginning of the year, while others only require notice in advance on the days you would like to use the "stay and play" option.

The decision to use a half-day, full- day or stay and play option depends on your needs and the needs of your child.

How many days per week should I enroll my child in preschool?

Even among advocates of preschool, there are differences in opinion about the number of days per week that is most beneficial for your child. Some say a good rule of thumb is one day per year of age: 2 days for 2 year olds, 3 days for 3 year olds, and 4 days for 4 year olds. Many parents decide on a two or 3 day a week routine until their child begins kindergarten, while others prefer a Monday through Friday routine beginning at age 3.

Most preschools offer either a two or three day a week schedule for children ages 2-5. For example, Monday -Wednesday-Friday or Tuesday-Thursday. However, some preschools only offer a full Monday through Friday option, so keep this in mind when evaluating potential preschools for your child. Your personal preference really depends on your needs and the needs of your child. Some children who have a lot of energy and require a lot of attention may do well in a Monday through Friday routine. Other children may find this kind of frequency too structured and exhausting. If you have the option, it may be preferable to start out with a two or 3 day a week program first in order to evaluate your child's reaction to a preschool routine.

I would like my child to benefit from a preschool experience, but the ones in my area are too expensive. What can I do?

Preschools can be expensive, especially for families with a stay at home parent or for families on a tight budget. If you feel that enrolling your child would pose a financial strain... forget it. Make an effort to socialize your child in other (less expensive ways) and feel good about your decision. See free activities to do with your child for some helpful ideas. As long as your child is spending time with you and allowed to interact with other children, your child will not be at any disadvantage.

What is the admission process for a preschool?

Almost all preschools will require that you register your child and pay a registration fee before school begins. Most preschools also require that you fill out various forms (consent forms for treatment or transportation, medical history, and general family information).

In some areas, highly selective preschools may want to visit with your child and/or administer a battery of tests before making a decision on admission. This type of admission procedure is used most often in private, academic preschools.

This type of scrutiny can be stressful for both you and your child, and while it may be standard in the area you reside, only agree with what you feel comfortable doing.

What is the general consensus about preschools?

The general consensus is that a good, high quality preschool with low ratios and dedicated, professionally trained staff can be a rewarding experience for your child. It is important to also remember the other side: Your child can have rewarding experiences that increase his self-esteem and sense of independence without attending a formal preschool. See free activities to do with your child for a few ideas. The relationship you have with your child and the positive experiences that you provide him are what matters most for your child's happiness and well-being.

Types of Preschools:

The "philosophy" of a preschool is an important component to ask about. Most preschool philosophies are similar. They aspire to increase your child's self-esteem and to nurture them socially, intellectually, creatively and emotionally. The way a preschool goes about developing your child's potential may be important in your choice of school.

2 most common types of preschools:

*ACADEMIC:

An academic preschool focuses on preparing your child for the academic challenges your child will face in school. Much attention is given to letters, numbers, pre-reading skills and other academic work. An academic program can range in extremes from academic only activities to academics mixed with developmental, age-appropriate tasks and skills.

*Developmental:

A developmental program usually means it is tailored toward skills and activities that are appropriate to your child's age and stage of development. A developmental program is likely to spend more of their class day painting and allowing children more individual choice in how to use their time. Activity centers are very popular in developmental programs. They often have a block center, science center, art center, dramatic play center, book center, etc. They are much less focused on academic tasks and concentrate more on social interaction and creativity. A developmental program would say that "play" is a form of learning. It is hard to prevent a child from learning all kinds of new things just by being in the world.

Keep in mind that many programs utilize a combination of developmental and academic approaches, so ask about their philosophy and make sure you feel comfortable with their teaching methods.

Is it better to send my child to a church-based or private preschool?

Some parents have wondered whether or not it is better to send a child to a church-based program or to a private preschool. The answer depends the specific preschool as well as your own personal preference. Here are some advantages and disadvantages of both.

Church-based preschool:

Advantages:

1) Less costly. A church based program is usually less expensive than a private preschool because it operates on a non-profit basis with the financial back-up and support of the church.

2) Advantages for church members. 1) If you are a member of the church you may receive a discount on monthly tuition (they assume you are already giving money to the church). 2) Priority registration is given to church members. This means that you are able to register your child before they register non-members, but usually after students who are currently enrolled. In areas where admission to preschools are competitive, this can be a real advantage. In order to take advantage of this you must first be a registered member of the church. If you would like to register with a particular church, simply call and ask for a registration packet.

Disadvantages:

1) Many churches use the rooms they have available to develop their preschool programs. Unless the preschool was part of the original building construction, the rooms may not be as spacious or open as classrooms specifically designed for children in mind.

2) A very few church programs may not have the funding necessary to supply all the supplies desirable for a preschool (computers, updated playground equipment, etc).

Private preschools:

Advantages:

1)Private preschools are backed solely by the tuition of it's students, therefore the parent's may have more say in influencing policies and procedures than a church based program.

2) Private schools generally are designed with the preschool student's needs in mind. They may provide additional amenities such as a separate music room, craft room, or indoor play area in case of inclement weather. Keep in mind that many church based programs provide these amenities as well.

Disadvantages:

1) Cost. Often private preschools cost more than a church based program, because the program is funded solely on the student's tuition.

2) No option for priority registration unless your child or one of her siblings is currently enrolled at the school.

What is priority registration?

Priority registration means that you are able to register your child before other student's during the enrollment period. First priority is usually given to all families who currently have children enrolled in the school. It is then offered to church members in church-based programs.

This can be a big advantage if competition to get in to the school is high.

What should I look for when interviewing a preschool?

Much of the information gathering can actually be done over the phone. If you know you are only looking for a part-time program, for example, you can automatically rule out the programs that do not fit your needs.

On the other hand: the more programs you actually visit, the better idea you will have about what you like and don't like in a preschool. You might actually decide that your comfort level with a preschool is more important than other criteria, so try not to rule anything out at first. If you are at all considering a particular preschool, it is very important to take an on-site tour. Directors who are resistant to this or require you to make an appointment first should raise some concerns. Any preschool who is not open at anytime to visitors is not the preschool for your child. (The only notable exceptions include asking that you not come during drop-off or pick-up times or during the first week of school.)

What do I look for when visiting a potential preschool?

1. What is your initial impression as you walk into the facility or classroom? Were the surroundings open and bright? Were there lots of artwork on the walls? Listen to your feelings, they are often your best guide.

2. Do the children look happy? Are they having fun? Imagine your child in the classroom. What might he or she be doing?

3. Are the teachers "with" the children? Are they maintaining eye contact? Are they involved? Good teachers will be interacting with the students, even getting down on the floor with them. They will not be sitting around waiting for time to pass.

4. Are the rooms spacious enough? Are activities easily accessible? The rooms should be large enough for the children to move around freely. Activities should be on the child's level and easy to reach.

5. What are the director/teachers qualifications? A degree in early childhood education or related field is preferable, although experience and manner with children is also very important.

6. How long has the program been operating? Established programs usually have greater stability of staff members and a well-developed curriculum. Newer programs often have highly motivated staff eager to provide a sound preschool experience for your child. In either case, ask for references and staff qualifications.

7. Ask for references! Obtain references you can contact to provide information about the school itself, as well as references for all teachers that may be involved in caring for your child. Talk to as many references as possible. Make sure to ask for their opinions of the preschools "growth areas" as well as it's strengths to obtain a balanced opinion.

8. Do the children need to be potty trained? Some schools require that children be potty trained before school begins, so be sure to ask about the school policies. See does my child need to be potty trained to attend preschool for more information.

9. Do you feel comfortable with the director and teachers? Remember, your child may become a student at this facility. It is important to feel comfortable and to maintain good rapport with the staff. A "good" school who dos not have the time to help you feel welcome or to answer your questions and provide a tour is not a "good" preschool for your child.

10. Are children "required" to participate in each activity? A good preschool will gently encourage, but not require your child to participate in all activities. Many children prefer to sit on the sidelines and observe the other children as they acclimate to the new experience. A good preschool will understand this process and will be sensitive to the child's needs. They will actively try to involve your child in the activities whenever possible. A good teacher will help your child to feel safe and comfortable enough to participate in time.

11. Do you feel comfortable with the "schedule of activities?" Most preschools have structured days that may look something like this:

9:00-10:00- Circle time and participate in centers (art, blocks, dramatic play)

10:00-10:30- Lesson time (science, academics)

10:30-10:50-snack (children develop their manners and serve themselves)

10:50-11:20-outdoor play (free time on the gym equipment)

11:20-11;40-music (either with a music teacher or with the class teacher)

11:40-12:00-storytime

Are you comfortable with the breakdown devoted to each activity? You will find that some schools provide time for both indoor and outdoor free play, while others have less play and more structured time. Determining the right program for your child is a matter of personal choice, as their is no one "right" way to structure a class day.

12. Fees. Most preschool (church sponsored and private) require a registration fee in addition to the monthly fee. Some preschools may also require a supply fee payable either once with registration or twice (during registration and again half way through the school year). Registration can occur at any time, but often occurs in February or march proceeding the start of school but ensures your child's placement in the class. Preschools range widely in cost. Much depends on whether you are attending a private or church based program, whether it is half day or full day, the number of days your child is enrolled, and the geographical area that you reside. Calling several schools in your area should give you a good idea of what to expect. It is not unusual for preschools to be as much as a several hundred dollars difference in price on a monthly basis. Often some of the best schools can be found in the middle of the high and low extremes. More expensive does not necessarily mean better or vice versa. In general, private programs are usually more costly than church-based programs.

Most preschools allow you to pay the monthly dues on a monthly basis, and many schools will allow you to withdraw your child without penalty of adequate written notice is given. Check to make sure the preschool you choose has this option.

13. Location. This may not seen like a big consideration now, but the proximity of your preschool to home or work can make a difference. Unless you plan on staying around the school and running errands on preschool days, we suggest that you consider limiting your commute to no more than a 15-20 minute drive. Why? If you opt for a 9:00-12:00 preschool, for example, you will spend about 40 minutes of the 3 hours on the road. If you have other little ones at home napping, leaving a few minutes later can make a big difference. Ultimately, the choice is yours. If your child's dream school requires a long commute and you are willing to make the sacrifice...Great!

14. Extra activities. Ask about field trips. Many parents do not want their child to leave the facility. Do they have the firemen come to the preschool or does the preschool commute to the fire station? How do they celebrate holidays, birthdays, special events? What do they do that makes them different, better, etc. than other preschools in the area?

Final thoughts:

If you like what you see at a particular preschool, go back again and check it out just to make sure it is everything you expect. Most likely a second tour will only strengthen your decision to chose this particular preschool, so your peace of mind is worth the effort. Remember: A good preschool will take as much time to meet with you and provide as many on-site visits as you would like in order to show you the quality of their preschool and to help you determine whether it is a good fit for your child. In order for your child to feel at home attending this preschool you must be able to feel the same way.