Potty training and your child
Potty training is a major developmental milestone in
childhood. It signals an increase in independence and is a
sign of growing up. It is also often met with conflict by
some parents, who find potty training their child to be a
difficult challenge and a constant struggle.
It is reported that most children obtain daytime bowel and
bladder control by the ages of 24-36 months. Generally girls train
earlier than boys, although there are exceptions. The increasing
social pressure parents may begin to feel toward the latter part
of this time frame often leads to frustration for both parent and
child.
The fact that children will eventually become potty trained
provides little reassurance for parents who have tried every
approach with little or no success. What guidelines can help make
a smoother transition from diaper to potty?
*Make sure your child is physically and
emotionally ready
Generally the later one waits to begin potty
training, the less time it will take. This is because a child
needs to be able to identify the feelings associated with
urinating and defecating before they happen. A child is
unlikely to be able to consistently identify these bodily
processes before the age of two. Help your child to identify
these processes by pointing them out "I can see that you are
going poo-poo" when you observe certain behavioral signs such
as reddening of the face or wondering off in a corner to be alone.
In addition, asking an older child "where were you when you
tinkled or poo-poo'd" will help your child become more aware
of his bodily functions. Your
child is emotionally ready when he shows some interest in the
potty, and is not actively resisting your training
attempts. Children are usually motivated by "being like
daddy or big brother" and they are also developing a deeper
understanding about where bodily functions are supposed to go:
"in the potty instead of a diaper". *When
Not to begin potty training It
is best to hold off on potty training if your child does not seem
physically or emotionally ready, or if your child is already
trying to adjust to another life event (new baby, move, divorce,
new school, etc.), which can overwhelm your child and make potty
training an unrealistic additional expectation at that time. *Let
your child train at his own pace A
child who begins to feel pressure about potty training (or
anything else) may revert to defense mode and actively
rebel, or even feel inadequate about his lack of
accomplishments. It's best to present the potty and your
expectations in a positive and consistent manner and allow your
child as much control as possible. This includes being
flexible about using the big or little potty, standing up or
sitting down to urinate for boys, and providing books for reading.
Giving rewards for successes (a hug or verbal praise work very
well), and designing charts where a child can put stickers on them
for each attempt can also provide motivation for many
children. Maintaining a
positive attitude in a laid back way "we all learn to use the
potty as we get bigger" will help your child view using the
potty as just another step in growing up. When
should we switch from training pants to big-boy pants? The
choice depends on parents preference. Many parents wait and
make the switch after the child has demonstrated at least some
degree of success with using the potty. In this way the
transition can be viewed as a positive reward because of the
child's potty training success. Some parents begin potty
training initially with pull-ups or real "big" underwear
and allow the child to learn by making mistakes. Only a
parent knows which approach will be most effective for their
child. How often should I take
my child to the potty? Some
parents set a timer and take their child to the potty every 10
minutes or so for the first few days, staying around the home as
much as possible during this time to maximize success. This
time can be extended gradually as regular trips to the bathroom
become more routine. The goal is to help the child to identify in
advance when the potty is needed and to get to the potty in
time. Asking "are your panties still dry?", etc.
often helps to keep the child aware of his responsibility for
using the potty. I've heard of
a lot of different approaches. Which one should I use? There
is no one "right" approach when it comes to potty
training. Decide on the method that seems to have the best
fit for your child. Often the common sense approach works
the best. You must feel good about your method for your
child to feel good about undertaking this new developmental
task. Any method that is used in a caring way and that
provides positive encouragement (without any physical or verbal assault)
is appropriate. Is it
appropriate to give rewards for successes? Absolutely!
Rewards such as verbal praise, kisses, hugs, small food or toy
rewards such as stickers, raisons, computer-time, riding bikes,
can all provide the motivation to make using the potty a
habit. Anything your child likes can be used as a motivator
for potty training. Remember to focus on the positives and
to stay neutral when your child has an accident.
Yelling, insults, and physical assaults are not appropriate and
can make potty training a traumatic experience, rather than the
natural developmental task it is meant to be. Potty training
is ideally a task that enables your child to build his self-esteem
in the process. It can increase a parents self-esteem as
well! What is most
important to remember? Children,
with appropriate and consistent guidance, will learn to use the
potty when they are ready. Years from now you will probably not
remember whether it was at 32 or 42 months of age when this event occurred.
Even though it is very important to you now, remember that your
child is developing his self-esteem, his feelings about himself,
and that potty training should never be made to make a child feel
inferior or incompetent. Children have a natural desire to
please and to model the actions of their parents.. making this a
positive experience will benefit everyone and will lay the foundation
of teamwork in all the challenges that lie ahead. Recommended
potty training books and videos (for children): <Click
a book to purchase> Once
upon a Potty Book for Boys Once
upon a Potty Book for Girls Once
Upon a Potty Video for Girls Once
Upon a Potty Video for Boys Everyone
Poops Book KoKo
Doll Potty Book Package Uh
Oh! Gotta Go! : Potty Tales from Toddlers |
