Sibling Rivalry

Sibling rivalry exists to some extent between all siblings.  Older children often feel resentful at having to share attention and toys, whether or not they are old enough to verbally express these feelings. Often feelings of rivalry are expressed by a toddler in pushing or hitting the new baby.  Older children may verbally express disapproval of the new baby ("Take her back to the hospital") or they may also act overly loving to gain the parents attention and approval while trying to mask feelings of anger toward the baby because of fear of rejection of the parents love.

It is important to talk to all of your children at a level appropriate to their stage of development and to let them know that it is 'OK" to have these negative feelings, just not "OK" to express them with negative behaviors (such as pushing).  It is much healthier psychologically for the child to know that these feelings are normal and "OK", and that they will not lose their parents love because of them.

Birth Spacing and Sibling Rivalry

Same-Sex and Boy-Girl Siblings and Rivalry